Human Be-ing

A Philosophical joke:

Socrates, Plato, and Descartes were in a plane. The flight attendant went to them and asked if they want anything to drink.

"I'll have a ginger ale," said Socrates.

"How about you, Mr. Plato," asked the attendant. "Would you want anything?"

"A Diet Coke, please," said Plato.

She then turned to Descartes. "Would you like a drink?"

"I think not," he answered, and disappeared.

Ang lalim, 'no? Dalawang beses ko'ng pinakinggan 'yang joke na 'yan, at dalawang minutong pinag-isipan. Buti na lang, medyo familiar ako sa quotation n'ya.

Cogito ergo sum

Nabanggit ni Descartes ito upang patunayan sa sarili n'ya na siya ay totoo, na s'ya ay nag-e-exist.

Well, tulad n'yang pilosopo lamang ang mag-iisip noon. Kung nakilala ko lang s'ya, siguro naipakita, o naparamdan ko sa kanya na siya nga ay tunay. Isang right hook lang eh sapat na.

Noong bata ako, tinawag din akong pilosopo. Pero, wala naman akong ganoong ka-profound na naisip. Pagalit pa nga ang mga magulang ko kapag sinasabi nilang ako'y isang pilosopo.

Mabalik tayo sa sinabi ni Descartes. Merong mga tao na ang interpretasyon nila ay sila ay nag-iisip, at 'yang pag-iisip na 'yan ang bumubuo ng kanilang pagkatao. Kumbaga, kung sino sila ay dahil sa kanilang pag-iisip.

Paano na 'yung mga hindi nag-iisip?

Kaya, parang hindi ako sang-ayon doon. Ang sa akin, mauuna muna ang aking pagkatao, at doon magmumula ang lahat ng aking pag-iisp, pananalita, paggalaw, atb. Kumbaga, "I am, therefore, I think." Kung ako ay isang likas na masama, karamihan sa aking utak ay puro karumihan. Panay basura. Pero kung ako naman ay mabuti, mabuti rin ang aking maiisip at gagawin.

Siguro, 'yan ang mensahe ng Pasko para sa akin. Ipinanganak si Kristo upang masagip tayo sa kamatayan dahil sa kasalanan. Pero, maliban d'yan, nagpunta si Kristo sa mundo upang ipakita sa atin ang ating tunay na kaanyuhan -- na ginawa tayo kahugis ng Diyos, 'di lamang sa anyong pisikal kun'di sa essence. Dahil kawawa naman Siya kung, literally, kamukha ko Siya.

Higit din sa pagpapakita sa atin kung sino at ano talaga tayo, dahil din kay Kristo, tayo ay may pagkakataong maging anak ng Diyos. Ito, Diyos talaga, at hindi 'yung bossing sa opisina o 'yung kanyang peborit.

Sabi nga Hesus, "Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect." Sasabihin ba N'ya 'yun kung hindi natin magagawa?

Kaya hindi ako sang-ayon nang sinabi ni G. Levi Celerio:

At kung, 'yan man ay kasalanan,
Ay sapagka't kami ay tao lamang.

Du'n lang ako hindi bumilib sa kanya.

Dahil nakatakas ako sa aking mga inaanak ngayon, kakaunti lang ang aking nabigyan. At dahil hindi na ako bata, kakaunti lang din ang nakuha kong regalo. Pero, 'yung aginaldong ibinibigay sa akin ng Diyos, na ipinapaalala sa akin tuwing Pasko, ay hindi na ako malulungkot kahit hindi ako binigyan ni Santa Claus ng Wii.

Mula sa aking pamilya, nawa'y magkaroon kayo ng isang Maligayang Pasko at Masaganang Bagong Taon.

Maligayang Kaarawan, Ka Andy!

Sa dami ng National Public Holidays sa Pilipinas, dalawa lamang ang kaarawang ating ipagdidiriwang: ang Pasko at ang kaarawan ni Andres Bonifacio. O, sige, tatlo, kasama na ang June 12.

Tignan naman natin ang ibang piyesta opisyal:

1. Bataan Day (na dati'y Fall of Bataan) - April 9

2. Kamatayan ni Kristo - Biyernes Santo (at ang bispiras, kung kelan siya ipinagkanulo)

3. Kamatayan ni Ninoy Aquino - August 21

4. Kamatayan ni Jose Rizal - December 30

5. Araw ng Patay - November 1

6. Huling araw ng taon ("kamatayan" ng taon) - December 31

Entonces, lalabas na 2 is to 1 ang ratio ng piyesta opisyal na ipinagdiriwang natin ang kamatayan sa kaarawan. 'Di kaya nagpapahiwatig n'yan kung ano ang pinahahalagahan nating mga Pinoy?

Talking about holidays, bakit nga ba ipinagdiriwang natin ang kaarawan ni Andres Bonifacio samantalang ang kamatayan naman ang kay Jose Rizal? 'Eto ang aking mga opinyon:

1. Isa itong apology kay Ka Andres dahil hindi siya ang naging pambansang bayani natin.

Wala naman daw opisyal na deklarasyon na meron tayong isang Pambansang Bayani. Well, hindi gan'un ang itinuro sa amin noong nasa Elementarya ako. Ang kwento pa nga, pinili ng mga Kano si Jose Rizal bilang Pambansang Bayani kasi pacifist at reformist siya. Eh, si Ka Andres, masyadong delikado 'yun. Baka sobra siyang maging idol ng mga Filipino at may mag-isip pasukin ang Manila Hotel. Although, wala naman sigurong gagawa noon n'yun. Hindi pa ipinapanganak si Trillanes.

2. Yari ang ibang kinikilala nating bayani kung ating alalahanin ang kamatayan ni Ka Andres.

Alam n'yo na marahil ang kwento. Isang bayani ang nagpunta sa balwarte ng presidente, tapos iniutos ng presidente na ipapatay ang ating bayani. Nakulong ang mga inaakalang kasangkot sa pagpatay, maliban sa presidente. Kamakailan, isa sa kanila ay binigyan ng Presidential Pardon. Tapos....

Teka, ibang bayani pala 'yung pinag-uusapan natin. Pero, may similarity, 'di ba?

Isipin mo nga naman, lagi nating maalaala ang nag-utos na patayin si Ka Andres kung kamatayan niya ang ating ipagdiriwang.

Kaya ayaw ideklarang piyesta opisyal ang August 21 sa Ilocos.

3. Pinoy lang kasi ang pumatay sa kanya.

Isa pang tsismis sa'kin noon, kaya raw hindi si Ka Andres ang napiling pambansang bayani ay dahil kapwa Pilipino ang mga pumatay sa kanya. 'Di tulad ni Ka Pepe, mga banyaga ang gumastos ng bala. Siguro, dahil sa ating colonial mentality, mas bigatin ka kung "forenjer" ang tetepok sa'yo.

Dati, nasa dalawam piso ang litrato ni Ka Andres. Kaso, nawala na 'yun. Kaya nalipat siya sa sampum piso. Ka-equal billing na n'ya si Mabini. Ironic din. 'Yung trusted adviser pa ni Aguinaldo 'yung kasama-sama n'ya. Sabagay, mas mabuti na 'yun. Kesa napunta pa ang larawan ni Ka Andres sa limam piso. Doble sampal na 'yun.

Which leads me back to my original question: Ano ba ang pinahahalagahan nating mga Pinoy? Pagpapatawad, kaya may mga Marcos at Estrada na nakaluklok sa Konggreso't Senado? Mapagkumbaba, kaya lagi nating minamaliit ang ating sarili, na wala na'ng pag-asa ang bayan, at ang ibang bansa na lamang ang magaling? 'Di kaya na dahil sa dami ng pagdiriwang natin na nakaugat sa kamatayan ay mayroon tayong defeatist attitude?

Gustong-gusto ko ang manood ng mga era films ng mga Chinese, Koreans, at Hapon. Lalong-lalo na 'yung kay Akira Kurosawa. Kay gaganda ng mga costume nila, ang kukulay. Kay rami rin nilang istorya, na parang napakayaman ng kanilang kultura. Kaya, siguro, maunlad sila dahil may maipagmamalaki silang nakaraan. Parang isang tao na dahil maganda ang kanyang buhay n'ung bata pa siya, maganda rin ang kanyang self-concept. Kaya madali ang kanyang asenso. 'Di tulad ng isa na may madilim na nakaraan. Laging insecure.

Well, sabi nga ni Stephen Covey, "Be proactive." Ang isang tao'y may kakayahang baguhin ang kanyang kinabukasan, maging ano pa man ang kanyang naging nakaraan. Gan'un din siguro sa isang bansa. Ang mga mamamayan nito'y may kakayahang baguhin ang takbo ng bayan upang ito'y umunlad. Kailangan lamang na magkaisa ang mga ito, at magsumikap tungo sa ikabubuti ng bansa.

Kaya siguro ngayong panahon tayo nabuhay.

Walang Duda

Ngayo'y kapistahan ng Kristong Hari, o Christ the King. Espesyal ang araw na ito sapagka't ngayon ang huling araw ng kalendaryo ng Simbahang Katolika, o ang liturgical year. Sa isang Linggo, simula na ang Adbiyento. Ang ibig sabihin, malapit na'ng ipalabas ang "Enteng Kabisote IV".

May prosisyon sa araw na ito, wala nga lang pabitin pagkatapos. 'Di pa ako nagkapag-partisipa dito, pero, ang tradisyon, panay lalaki lang ang kasama sa prosisyon, at ang mga babae ay nasa tabi lamang. Hanggang ngayon pa ba? Pero, maraming parokya, tulad ng kay Edgar, na hindi na raw ang nakakapagdaos ng prosisyon. Masyado raw kasing nagdudulot ng trapiko.

Sa ibang bansa ay napakahalaga't napakasaya ng araw na ito. Minsan, nabasa ko sa d'yaryo na sa Poland, noong nasa pamamahala pa ng mga Komunista, noong hindi pa Juan Pablo si Karol Wojtyla, noong hindi pa pinapauso ng Pinoy ang People Power, isang malaking kaganapan ang prosisyon na ito sa kanila. Parang isang uri ng rebelyon, isang paraan upang ipakita nila kung sino talaga ang naghahari sa kanilang buhay. Sa sobrang halaga ng okasyong ito, parang piyesta-opisyal doon; walang pasok ang mga paarala't opisina.

Sabagay, kahit dito. Linggo kasi.

Sa Merville at Moonwalk, mga dalawang linggo ang nakakaraan, may countdown na sila, paalala sa kapistahan. May litrato ng Kristong Hari sa bawa't kanto at sinasabi kung ilang araw na lang ang nalalabi bago sumapit ang araw na ito.

Tuloy, kapag nakikita ko ang litratong ito naalala ko ang aking tiyuhin. Mga early 70's noon, sabi n'ya na ang katapusan ng mundo ay mangyayari sa taong 2000. Hindi ito dahil sa Y2K; hindi pa uso noon 'yun. Kaya n'ya nasabi yaon, 'yun daw ang ibig sabihin ng dalawang daliring nakataas sa kanang kamay ng Kristong Hari. Hindi raw ang ibig sabihin ay "Peace, man!"

Siyempre, takot na takot ako noon. Ilang taon din akong nabalisa dahil doon.

Tapos, noong 1990, nilusob ng Iraq ang Kuwait, at nilusob naman ni Bush, Sr. si Saddam. Bago ginawa ang paglusob sa Iraq ipinalabas sa TV 'yung dokumentaryo tungkol sa mga hula ni Nostradamus. Tatlo raw ang anti-Christ na lalabas, at nahulaan n'ya kung sino 'yung unang dalawa. Sa katunayan, sinabi ni Nostradamus na ang pangalan n'ung ikalawa ay Histler. Ang ikatlo raw ay manggagaling sa Gitnang Silangan, at s'yang magpapasimula ng World War III at ng katapusan ng mundo.

Ang hindi ko maintindihan, bakit ipinalabas 'yun bago lusubin ang Iraq. Naging sanhi lamang upang mag-panic ang mga tao.

Hindi lang 'yun. Lumabas din ang isyu ng Y2K. Dahil daw lahat ay masyado na'ng nakadepende sa mga computers, hihinto ang mundo 'pag dating ng bagong taon ng 2000.

Meron ding lumabas na magkakaroon ng tatlong araw ng kadiliman. 'Pag nangyari daw 'yun, dapat isara ang mga pinto't bintana. Wala raw papapasukin, kahit gaano kalakas ang pagkatok at paghiling nito. Kahit daw tumingin sa labas ay bawal. At 'yung mga kapamilya't kapuso na naiwan sa labas ay sorry na lang sa kanila.

Kaya nga lalo akong pinagbawalan ng aking asawa na magpunta sa beer house. Baka raw ako abutan ng three days of darkness.

Sa mga araw raw na 'yun, ang tanging mag-iilaw lang ay 'yung mga kandilang nabendisyunan ng pari. Kaya naging mabenta ang mga kandila sa SM, daig pa ang Piyesta ng Patay. Naubos din 'ata 'yung holy water ng aming pari sa Baclaran.

Maraming kwento tungkol sa katapusan ng mundo. Nakakatakot na nga 'yung mga nakasaad sa Bibliya, dinadagdagan pa nila. Ang ipinagtataka ko, 'yun pang mga relihiyoso, 'yung araw-araw kung magdasal ng rosaryo, 'yung mga laging nagsisimba't tumatanggap ng komunyon, sila pa ang parang takot na takot, ang may maraming kagimbal-gimbal na mga kwento. Nananakot lang kaya sila? Kaninong aparisyon kaya nila nakuha ang mga 'yun?

Cool lang ang mga Protestante sa bagay na ito. Naniniwala kasi sila, bago pa man maganap ang mga kaguluhan, maglalaho na sila sa mundo. "Rapture" ang tawag nila dito.

Pero, mas nakakatakot 'yung sinabi ni Kristo, na binasa noong isang Linggo. Sabi N'ya, ang mga magulang, kapatid, kamag-anak, at kaibigan natin ang s'yang magkakanulo sa atin. Isipin mo, ang mga taong dapat na nagmamahal sa atin, na dapat nag-aalaga't nagproprotekta sa atin, ay sila pa ang magpapahamak sa atin. At sila ang ating makakasama sa tatlong araw ng kadiliman.

Kaya nga may dahilan na akong magpunta ulit sa "beer house".

Pero, para sa akin, gaano man nakakatakot ang mga kwento tungkol sa mga huling sandali ng mundo, hindi man ako mapasama sa "rapture", o higit pa sa "The Exorcist" ang makaharap ko, hindi ako mababahala. Pinangako ni Kristo na kung mananatili tayo sa Kanya, ni isang hibla ng ating buhok ay hindi malilipol.

'Yan ang aking pinanghahawakan. Walang duda akong mas mabisa ang pangakong 'yan ni Hesus kesa sa 'sang katutak na kandilang nabendisyunan ng Papa.

Trapek! (Driving In Metro Manila, Part 4)

Nagmamaneho ako ngayon sa Kaingin Road, pauwi sa amin sa Betterliving. Tinatahak ko ang kalyeng kakasemento lang ng congressman/mayor/counselor itong nakaraang Abril para sa local elections, at binubutas ngayon ng MWSS.

Naisip ko, mahigit sampung taon nang ako'y unang magmaneho. Naaalala ko pa, noong nasa College ako, ayaw na ayaw ko ang magkaroon ng kotse. "Bakit pa?", tanong ko. Kung may gusto akong puntahan, sasakay lang ako ng bus at makakarating na ako sa aking paroroonan. Maaari pa akong matulog sa daan. At higit sa lahat, may student's discount pa. At dahil wala akong interes sa mga sasakyan, hindi ako nakakakilala ng mga modelo't gawa. Hindi ko ma-differentiate ang Toyota, ang Mitsubishi, at ang Mazda. Hindi ko alam ano ang Corolla at ano ang Corona. Kahit nga Sarao at Francisco, hindi ko rin makita ang pagkaka-iba. Ang nakikilala ko lang ay ang Volkswagen Beetle. Sabagay, sino ang hindi nakakakilala doon?

Ngayong matagal-tagal na akong nagmamaneho, nakikilala ko na rin ang iba't ibang uri ng sasakyan. Para na rin ito sa aking survival.

"Naku, Volvo 'yan! Kailangang makaiwas ako. Sige na, mag-overtake na kayo sa akin para malayo ako d'yan."

"Ay, Kia lang 'yan. Masingitan nga. Ayaw mong magbihay, ha? Sige, gigitgitin kita!"

Masuwerte ako sapagka't tumira kami sa mga bahay na kung saan hindi matrapik papauwi. Tulad ng nasa Baclaran kami, minsa'y inabot ako ng isang oras sa pagmamaneho mula bahay hanggang opisina. Hindi ko na inulit 'yun. Tutal, kinse minutos lang naman kung ako'y maglalakad.

Ganu'n pa man, may mga napansin ako na magsasabi sa akin na magiging mabagal ang daloy ng trapiko sa ang aking daraanan. Heto ang mga clues na iyon:

1. Nagkasya ang limang sasakyan sa tatlong lanes.

Ang normal, 'yung broken lines ay naghahati sa kalye ng mga lanes. Ang ibig sabihin, dapat isang sasakyan lamang sa isang lane. Kapag may mga sasakyan na sa ibabaw ng mga broken lines na ito, asahan mong magiging mabagal ang iyong pag-usad.

Sa totoo lang, hindi masyadong reliable ang clue na ito. Kahit hindi matrapik, makakakita ka pa rin na mga wala sa tamang lane at nasa ibabaw ng broken lines.

2. Pati mga motorsiklo ay nakahinto.

Sa dahilang naokupahan na ng mga sasakyan ang bawa't espasyo ng kalye, hindi na makasingit ang mga motorsiklo. Kaya sa sidewalk na lang sila dumadaan. Ang kaso, nakaharang din ang mga sidewalk vendors. Kaya babalik na lang ulit sila sa kalye.

Isipin mo na lang 'yung mga pedestrians. Saan kaya sila dumadaan?

3. Blinking ang traffic lights.

Ang talagang ibig sabihin ng blinking traffic lights ay "Proceed with caution." Dito sa Metro Manila, ang ibig sabihin ay "Proceed with courage." Kailangang matapang ka upang makatawid ng intersection. Kapag nabigyan ka ng tiyempong makaurong ng one inch, dapat kunin mo 'yun. Kun'di, maghapon ka doon, at lahat ng nasa likod mo ay bubusina sa'yo.

4. May nakatayong MMDA sa tabi.

Nagsawa na 'yun sa kaka-direct ng trapiko. Sinasabi n'ya sa kanyang sarili, "Bahala nga kayo d'yan!"

5. May nagtitinda ng mani sa gitna ng kalye; nasa kariton ang kanyang paninda.

Hindi nakakapagtaka na merong mga nagtitinda sa gitna ng kalye, lalo na sa mga intersections. 'Pag huminto ang mga sasakyan, dali-dali ang mga itong magpupuntahan sa gitna upang ialok ang kanilang paninda, tulad ng dyaryo, yosi, Stork, sampaguita, basahan, at chicharon na may suka.

'Pag umandar na ang mga kotse, madali lang ang mga itong tumabi sa daan, mauuna ang mga nagtitinda ng chicharon, tapos, ang mga nagtitinda ng basahan at sampaguita, at susundan ng mga may dyaryo, yosi, at Stork. Mahuhuling tatabi ang mga namamalimos. Kayang-kaya nila ang tumabi agad. Pero, paano na 'yung mga may kariton? Sa sobrang laki ng kanilang dala, hidni agad sila makakatabi. Makakapaglako lang sila kung sobrang trapik para hindi sila mabangga o masagasaan.

6. Walang sumasalubong na mga sasakyan.

Magtataka ka sapagka't halos hindi umuusad sa iyong direksyon ng kalye, pero walang sasakyan sa kabilang direksyon. Marahil naipit na ang mga iyon dahil nagkaroon na ng grid-lock, o kaya naharang na ang kanilang daan dahil sa....

7. May mga nagka-counter-flow.

Dahil may limang sasakyan na ang nagpupumilit magkasya sa kalyeng may tatlong lanes, at okupado na ng mga sidewalk vendors ang tabi, at dahil maluwag naman ang kabilang direksyon, doon na lang dadaan ang ibang mga drayber. Hindi nila alam, mas lalo silang makakapagpabagal sa daloy ng trapiko. Hindi bale na, basta mauna lang sila. Wala silang pakialam sa mga ibang nagtiya-tiyagang bagtasin ang trapiko sa maayos na paraan.

Kilalang matiyaga ang mga Filipino. Dalawampung taong nagtiis tayo kay Marcos, at ngayo'y pinagtitiisan na naman natin si GMA. Pero, bakit sa pagmamaneho nawawala ang ating pasensya? Kelan lang may namaril at nakapatay dahil sa alitan sa trapiko. Kung atin lang hahabaan ang ating pisi at pasensiya....

Teka, mam'ya ko na lang itutuloy ang aking pag-iisip. Uunahan ko lang itong pedicab na nasa aking harap. Kanina pa ito, ang bagal-bagal kumilos. Busina na ako ng busina ayaw pa ring tumabi. Nakakaasar na siya!

Tatay-hood

Naghahapunan ako kasama ng aking dalawang dalaginding, na'ng itinanong ni Panganay na kung sila ay mag-aasawa, ano ang mas gugustuhin ko: kasing edad nila 'yung lalaki 'o mas matanda sa kanila ng isang taon. Ang sagot ko bahala sila doon. Hindi ako makikialam kung ano ang kanilang gusto. Basta, aking paalala, irerespeto sila ng lalaki, mamahalin sila at ang kanilang mga anak, honest sila.... Biglang sumingit si Bunso, "Just like you, Tatay?"

Muntik na akong mabulunan.

Hindi ako perpektong tao. Hindi ako perpektong asawa. Hindi ako perpektong ama. Kahit ang pangalan ko, hindi Perfecto. Hindi na ako magkukwento pa't baka mabasa ito ng aking pamilya't mag-iba na ang tingin nila sa akin.

Kahit na ako'y isang ama for 15 years na, hindi ko pa rin masasabing isa akong authority sa paksang ito. Nagkakamali pa rin ako...ng madalas...at paulit-ulit... na parang walang natutunan.

So, ano ang karapatan kong magsulat tungkol sa pagiging ama? Wala. Type ko lang ang mag-type, eh. At saka, ito na ang huling linggo ng buwan at wala pa akong na-i-po-post sa blog ko. Tawag dun, panic time.

Naisip ko ang topic na ito matapos kong basahin ang isang article ni G. Francis Kong sa Philippine Star tungkol sa legacy na iniiwan ng isang ama. 'Yan, siya ang may "K" magsulat tungkol sa pagiging itay. Sa katunayan, may nailathala na siyang libro, kasama ang kanyang anak bilang co-author, tungkol sa paksang iyon. Kaya, 'di lamang sa pagsusulat mahusay si G. Kong, kun'di na rin sa pagiging mabuting asawa't ama.

Matagal na rin akong nagbabasa ng mga isinulat ni G. Kong sa Internet. Noon pang mid-90's ay mayroon na siyang website, www.businessmatters.org, kung saan nakapagsulat na rin siya sa pagiging tatay. Doon, nakapagpalitan kami ng mga emails tungkol sa paksang iyon.

Ang isang isinulat ko sa kanya ay yaong napanood ko sa pelikulang "Mary Poppins". Sa pelikulang iyun, may isang pamilya kung saan ang tatay, si Mr. George Banks, ay sobrang busy upang umangat sa kanyang propesyon sa bangko. Ang nanay ay busy sa kanyang paglaban upang magkaroon ng karapatang bumoto ang mga babae (ang setting ng pelikula ay 1910). Parehong malakas ang paniniwala ng dalawa na heroic at admirable ang kanilang ginagawa, 'di lamang para sa kanilang sarili kun'di pati na rin para sa kanilang mga anak.

Dalawang anak, sina Jane at Michael, na sobrang makulit kung kaya't walang nakakatagal na nanny sa pag-alaga sa kanila. Resulta sila ng "children should be seen, not heard." Sa sitwasyon na ito dumating si Mary Poppins (na ginampanan ni Julie Andrews, at nagpanalo sa kanya ng Best Actress sa Oscar).

Sa panukala ni Mary Poppins, dinala ng Tatay ang dalawang anak sa bangkong pinagtratrabahuhan n'ya. Field trip, daw. Kaso, dahil sa mga bata, nagkaroon ng bank run, at nagkagulo sa bangko. Tumakas ang mga bata, nakita sila ni Bert, kaibigan ng mga bata at ni Mary Poppins, all-around person, musician, scribbler (taga-drawing), at ngayo'y isang taga-linis ng mga chimney. Iniuwi sila ni Bert. Pagdating sa bahay, walang magbabantay sa mga bata. Day-off ni Mary Poppins, ayaw ng ibang katulong mag-alaga, at aalis si Mrs. Banks patungo sa meeting for Women's Suffrage. Kaya si Bert ang nagbantay.

Umuwi si George ng malatang-malata. Inabutan n'ya si Bert sa bahay. Doon tinawagan si George ng bangko, at sinabing dapat magpunta agad siya. Alam ni George na siya ay tatanggalin na sa trabaho.

Naisip ni George na halos marating na n'ya ang kanyang pangarap, nguni't sa isang iglap, naglaho ang lahat. Sinisi n'ya si Mary Poppins at sinabing nagoyo siya upang dalhin ang mga bata sa bangko. Sumagot si Bert:

You are a man of 'igh position
Esteemed by your peers,
And when your little tykes are crying
You 'aven't time to dry their tears,
And see 'em grateful little faces smiling up at you
Because their Dad, 'e knows just what to do.

You've got to grind, grind, grind on that grindstone,
'Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve.
And all too soon they've up and grown
And then they've flown
And it's too late for you to give....

Just that spoonful of sugar to 'elp the medicine go down,
The medicine go down,
The medicine go down....

Hindi ko mapapangakong ako'y magiging perpektong tao/asawa/ama, at hindi ako magpapalit ng pangalan. Nguni't sisikapin kong maging ganu'n (maliban sa pangalan) na'ng sa gayon, 'pag dating ng araw at sabihin nila sa akin, "We married someone just like you, Tatay", kaligayahan at pasasalamat ang mababanaag sa mga mukha nila, at hindi panunumbat.

At yan ang New Year's Resolution ko para sa taong 2008.

Joke, joke, joke!

Comedy Writing

I've been re-reading the book "Comedy Writing" by Jenny Roche. I've marked the date when I bought it, and it said "13 Dec 2003". My gulay! It has been with me for almost four years, and I haven't learned anything from it.

The book starts with the question "Can comedy be taught?" The answer, of course, is "Yes, it can." I wouldn't have bought the book had it not been the case. And it is one of the books in the "Teach Yourself" series from the publishers Hodder & Stoughton.

However, it's not an easy thing to learn comedy. That's the part I failed to read when I browsed the book before buying it. There are several exercises in the book to put the things learned into practice. Being a lazy person, I now realize why I haven't written anything funny.

The next part briefly discusses the nature of comedy. It discusses the need for laughter, not only as a form of escapism, but as therapy, as well. It also showed "The Laughter Triangle", a model of how laughter works. The triangle's three points are the vehicle for delivery of material, the funny material, and the recipient of the material.

This part also reminds that the writer "should think carefully about the target of [his] funnies if [he] want[s] to be both responsible in [his] humour, and get the most laughs."

The next two chapters are, I think, the most important ones in the book. The first one talks about what a comedy writer is, how he should be responsible in coming out with his materials. It also provides tips on how to generate ideas.

The second one talks about comedy writing techniques. It discusses the golden rules of comedy:

1. It must be economical.
2. It must be self explanatory.
3. It must be funny.

Now, I know what's missing.

The chapter also discusses about different comedy techniques, such as exaggeration, absurdity, and incongruity.

The rest of the book talks about the different genres of comedy writing, and how one can write for them. This includes script formats, opportunities, advantages and limitations of each genre, dealing on the three points of the Laughter Triangle. This is good reading, especially if one wants to enter the business of comedy writing.

One technique, the put-down, reminds of me of another book that I've read, which I now forget the title. That book says that comedy is really a put-down, a way to "bring down" society, or to deprecate people or established norms. Thus, one should be very careful in being humorous.

An example of a put-down is this: I once had a textmate, and we agreed to meet one day. We described what we're going to wear, where we'll meet, and at what time. I went to the meeting place at our appointed schedule. I saw her, wearing the clothes she described to me. I approached her and asked, "Are you Rose?" She asked back, "Are you Balty?" I answered, "Yes." She said, "I'm not Rose."

Normally, such comedy becomes funnier when the joke is on the speaker.

Never tell a joke to put-down your audience. Hence, if you are asked to give a speech to students of La Salle, Greenhills, you won't tell a story about five dumb Lasallites, even if these five came from Taft. Rather, you should tell a story about five dumb Ateneans.

I am reminded of this because of the uproar on Malu Fernandez's article in People Asia Magazine. In that article, she tries to be funny by putting down OFWs. Her friends thought the article was funny. No, they thought it was hilarious. Fortunately, the rest of the Filipino people thought otherwise.

The situation, of being in the plane with Filipino OFWs, can be a source of humor. She could have put down the people there, but only if she has put herself further down than them. Instead, she wrote as if these people didn't have the right to be in the same place with her.

We've always done that, telling stories that belittle the Filipino. But when we do, it is always with the implicit understanding that we belong to that race. That either we're proud to have the same idiosyncrasies, or that we wish something be done to correct them.

(As I write this, I'm listening to 100.3 Mhz DzRJ. They played the song "What The World Needs Now/Abraham, Martin, John". It starts with a man asking a girl the meaning of the words "segregation", "bigotry", "hatred", and "prejudice". The child did not know these words, except for the last one, which she thought it was when her mother is sick. Then, sounds from a marching group of soldiers, reports on the shooting of John F. Kennedy, a speech by Martin Luther King, the shooting of Robert Kennedy and the eulogy of his brother are interspersed with the music. The song showed how foolish bigotry and prejudice are.)

Going back to the article, Malu used contrasts (another comedy technique) to show the disparity of her taste against the tastes of the OFWs. She writes about "OFWs smelling of AXE and Charlie cologne" while her "Jo Malone evaporate[s] into thin air".

Teka, I like and use AXE, especially the Phoenix scent. I buy the rubber canister because it costs cheaper. Nagmahal na nga. It used to be sold at P 48, but now cost P 64.80 at The Landmark. However, I found a sale at SM Sucat, each cannister being sold at P 25. May libreng scented ballpen pa. I bought the last three.

This post is not a tirade against Malu Fernandez. So many bloggers have spoken against her, forcing her to resign from the magazine. No, she does not deserve the publicity she is getting right now. Albeit it is a bad one, it's still publicity. It will only add to the curiosity, thereby reader(s?) of this blog will go and read her article. That will only increase the number of hits, and, for a magazine, that's additional eyeballs that would not have set on their magazine if this thing has not happened. In the end, it is the magazine who'll be ahead. And what about us, the madlang people? Ganun pa rin hanggang may lumabas ulit na isang Malu Fernandez.

Rather, I would like to thank Malu for teaching me how to write comedy. I guess her lessons taught me more than the book I'm reading.

And Jenny Roche will call this technique "irony".

Lengguwahe

Basahin ang mga sumusunod na mga letra sa Tagalog:

B K W L K M G W.
P R M S Y T W K.
H H H!
T W P.
H H H!
M S Y K N?
T W K P.
H H H!
L L L!
H H H!
T M N.
P R K N T NG!

Nakakatuwa. Sa pamamagitan lang ng mga letra ay nakagawa na ng isang kwento. (Napansin n'yo ba na hindi ko ginamit ang salitang "titik"? Ayaw kong gamitin iyon dahil, bawasan lang ng isang letra, may ibang kahulugan na, na ayaw kong maisip. Ibon siya. Maitim o kulay tsokolate. Kamag-anak ng pato.)

Noong nasa 1st year High School ako, nagkaroon sa paaralan ng extemporaneous speech contest para sa Linggo ng Wika. Palibhasa, bagong salta, akala namin na lahat ng school activities ay kailangang salihan. Dahil ako ang may pinakamakapal na mukha, ako ang isinali ng aming section.

Ito ang topic ng contest: Bakit sinabi ni Rizal na ang Pambansang Wika ay dapat base sa isang katutubong wika, at hindi sa isang wikang banyaga? (Or something like that.)

Ang yabang ng asta ko, pahatak-hatak pa ng aking kwelyo, na parang alam na alam ang paksa. Nakuha ko raw ang atensyon ng mga manonood dahil du'n. Kaso, nang magsalita an ako, para akong isang utot; panay hangin lang ang lumabas, walang laman.

Malay ko ba sa topic! 'Ni hindi ko nga siya naintindihan. Pati 'yung mga sinabi ng iba, hindi ko rin naintindihan. Hindi ko nga maalala na sinabi ni Rizal 'yun. Ang alam ko lang sa kanya, tinapon n'ya ang isang tsinelas matapos mahulog sa ilog 'yung isa. Para raw magamit n'ung makakapulot ng pares. Siguro, narinig ni Gandhi ang kuwentong 'yun kaya ginawa rin n'ya 'yun.

Ang alam ko rin kay Rizal, gumagamit na lang siya ng asin kung maubusan siya ng Colgate. Pero, mga bata, 'wag n'yong gagayahin 'yun. Baka lalong masira ang inyong mga ngipin.

At kung tungkol sa wika, ang alam ko 'yung sa kanta ni Florante:

Si Gat Jose Rizal nuo'y nagwika,
Siya ay nagpangaral sa ating bansa;
Ang hindi raw magmahal sa sariling wika
Ay higit pa ang amoy sa mabahong isda.

Nagdaan ang maraming taon, nalimutan ko ang insidenteng iyon, at ako'y pumasok sa College. Isang subject, Speech, ang aking kinuha. Laking gulat namin nu'ng unang araw ng klase nang sabihin ng titser na ituturo ang kurso sa Filipino. Marami ang biglang tumayo't umalis upang maghanap ng ibang titser. Samantala, abot tenga naman ang ngiti ko.

Sa kursong iyon, nalaman ko na sa mga Eskimo, walang iisang salita ang kahulugan ay "snow". Ito ay dahil sa napakaimportante sa kanila ang yelo. Napag-usapan din mamin na sa ating mga Pilipino ay wala ring isang salita na ang kahulugan ay "rice". Meron tayong "palay", "bigas", "kanin", "lamig", "tutong", "sinangag", "lugaw", "puto", "kunsinta", at iba pa. Sa wikang Inggles, ang mga kahulugan ay "rice", "uncooked rice", "steamed rice", "leftover rice", "burnt rice", "fried rice", "rice porridge", "rice cake", "rice cake", etc.

At bakit hindi? Napakahalaga sa atin ang bigas. Kung sa iba, tinapay ang basic food nila, sa atin naman ay kanin. (NOTE: Sorry sa mga taga-South. Parang kasama ang mais sa kanilang staple food.) Hindi masarap ang ulam kung walang kanin, kahit na ito'y lechon o sugpo. Sa mga naghihikahos naman, kahit asin o toyo ang ulam, basta't may kanin ay makakaraos na sila. Sa katunayan, pansinin mo't halos pareho ang ispeling ng salitang "kanin" at "kain".

Kumbaga, para sa atin, ang kanin ay katumbas ng buhay.

At du'n ko naisip na kailangan ngang ibase sa isang katutubong wika ang pambansang wika. Para maipahayag natin ang ating tunay na damdamin. In English, so that we'll have the exactly right words.

Minsan, may nag-away sa aming opisina. Tatlo lamang kami, isang engineer, isang technician, at ako ang referee. Galit na galit na sinabing paulit-ulit ng isa, "You f@cked me!" Galing ito sa technician; hindi siya nakapagtapos ng pag-aaral. 'Ni hindi nag-i-Inggles sa opisina. Pero, bilib ako sa kanya. Kahit matindi ang kanyang galit, nakapag-isip-isip pa siya't Ingles ang kanyang ginamit, para, marahil, hindi ganoon kasama ang dating. Pinanood ko lang silang magsigawan. Sa isip-isip ko, hindi ako makikialam hangga't sa wikang Ingles nagmumura 'yung isa. Siguro, kung sinabi n'yang "Pu@!#ng ina mo!" o kaya "Kinan@#t mo ako!",baka hindi ko naawat ang dalawa na mag-abot.

Ngayon, ang tanong, bakit Tagalog? O 'yun ba ang tamang tanong? Marahil, ang dapat na tanong ay, bakit 'di natin palaguin at ipalaganap ang Filipino upang maging tanggap sa lahat? Kasi, dapat, buhay ang isang wika. At magiging buhay lang ito kung madaragdagan ng madaragdagan ng mga salita. D'yan, marahil, papasok ang kahalagahan ng paggamit ng Filipino sa iba't ibang pulo sa bansa, nang sa gayon, madaragdagan ng mga salita mula sa kani-kanilang lengguwahe.

Hindi dapat maging "snob" ang wikang Filipino, na panay malalalim na salitang Tagalog lang ang gamit, tulad ng paggamit ng "salump'wit" sa halip na "silya". O kaya "salungs..." Ay, 'wag na. Naalala ko, pang GP nga pala itong blog ko.

'Ika nga ng lumang tanong: Ano ang kaibahan ng Pilipino sa Tagalog? Sagot: Ang Pilipino ay komiks, ang Tagalog ay klasiks. Siguro nga, nararapat na ang Filipino ay naiintindihan, tinatanggap at ginagamit ng mas nakararami.

Naalala ko na'ng ako'y nagpupunta pa sa aming probinsiya sa Bulacan. Minsan, hindi ko maintindihan ang pag-uusap nila. Pero sigurado akon'ng Tagalog ang kanilang gamit.

Hindi tayo tinuruan ng mga Kastila ng kanilang wika sa takot na magkakaisa tayo't maghimagsik laban sa kanila. Divide and conquer kasi ang ginawa nila sa atin. Sa sobrang galit natin sa kanila, pinatanggal pa natin ang required Spanish subjects sa College.

Sa kabilang banda, tinuruan tayo ng mga Amerikano ng kanilang wika. Ayan, nakuha tuloy nila ang ating puso't diwa. Kaya, heto muli, ibinabalik ang Inggles bilang medium of instruction.

Ano kaya kung lahat ng domestic helper, entertainer, nurse, titser at iba pang OFW ay ituro ang wikang Filipino sa mga taong inaalagaan at nakakasalamuha nila? 'Di kaya masakop ng bansang Pilipinas ang buong mundo? At, ang kagandahan pa ru'n, binabayaran tayo ng dollars upang gawin 'yun.

Marahil nga, kung tayong lahat ay magmamahal sa wikang Filipino tayo'y magkakabuklod-buklod, tulad ng ikinatakot ng mga Espanyol, at ating pangangahalagahan ang ating pagiging Pilipino, tulad ng naging karanasan natin sa mga Amerikano. Hindi na siguro natin ipagmamalaki na tayo lagi ang nasa unahan ng listahan pag ang pinag-uusapan ay ang may pinakamasagwang katangian. At hindi na rin ang Pilipino ang ikatlong karakter sa mga kuwentong patawa.

Driving In Metro Manila, Part 3

I thought I would never write another article on this topic. It took me more than a month to finish Part 2 of this series, and I was about to give up on that one. With movies like "Shrek 3", "Pirates of the Carribean 3", and "Spiderman 3", I felt like writing a Part 3 of this one. And if "Die Hard 4" will come out, I might also post a Part 4.

Actually, this desire to write came about when I surfed technorati.com to see what it offers. And, being conceited, I tried to find all blogs with "driving in Metro Manila" as the topic. I was surprised to find out there were many other blogs (537, as of the last count) ranting on the bad conditions of traffic in Metro Manila. The bloggers complained a lot, although some would say we are better off than other cities, like..., like..., well, I forgot what they were.

Some of the bloggers are foreigners, and this article is written specifically for them. I am offering some tips on who to avoid on the road.

First, let's look at the color or type of license plates on the vehicle:

Blue plates - These are actually white plates with the license numbers colored blue. The plates contain only numbers, not alphanumeric. I guess they don't know how to read, hence they can't follow signs like "STOP" or "YIELD". These vehicles are owned by foreign diplomats, but there is nothing diplomatic in the way they drive.

Red plates - Another plate with white background but red alphanumeric code. Red plates indicate that these are government vehicles, which are marked at the sides with "For Official Use Also". The plates start with the letter S, which means "Sa inyo galing ang panggasolina ko." Avoid these vehicles, especially during weekends, for they just came from SM to buy their groceries.

Yellow plates - These have yellow background with black markings. The codes usually start with the letter P, meaning "Put...", I mean, Public Utility vehicle. Drivers of these vehicles earn a couple of hundred pesos a day, net, which means if you're involved in an accident, it will not matter whose fault it is; you always lose.

Plates that are colored blue, yellow, and green (techni-colored - Normally, an airport or hotel taxi. Usually starts with the letter T, meaning "Tan...". No, I don't think it has a meaning, but that's how I feel about them. Drivers don't use taxi meters, but charge depending on the destination. They cost high, and are always in a hurry to get back to the airport or hotel to get another passenger.

Commemorative plates - These plates are bought by owners who are trying to avoid the coding scheme. It's more hazardous for pedestrians to be involved in an accident with these vehicles. One cannot track down the car that ran over them for it does not have a unique plate number. (POLICE: What's the car's plate number that hit you? VICTIM: ASEAN SUMMIT. POLICE: Ok, that's on the front of the car. What about at the back? VICTIM: Lost Plate.)

I know that one can use commemorative plates for a maximum of one year. There was one I saw which was commemorating UP's Diamond Jubilee. Next year, UP will celebrate its centennial.

Plate numbers with two letters and four digits - Drivers of these vehicles are very dangerous on the road. With masked faces and jackets large enough to hide an AK-47, these drivers weave in and out of traffic, as if there is an invisible force field that will protect them.

Imagine this. You're running at 60 kph, when, all of a sudden, this vehicle would dart from your right, running at 61 kph, and overtaking you. You were just lucky that your reflexes are still working, for you were about to accelerate to 62 kph. Had you done so, you'd surely have killed the other driver.

Of course, you'll be speeding up, for: 1. the car in front of you was also accelerating, and the distance between you and him was getting wider; 2. you looked in your left and right side mirrors and saw no vehicle with flashing turn signals; and, 3. you were a half-car length away from one in front of you, and who is crazy enough to squeeze in between that short gap?

But drivers of these vehicles are really crazy, the craziest being those having at the back of their vehicles a big black or red box marked "Hate Late?".

Vehicles with no license plates - Of course, I'm not including pedestrians here, for they are not vehicles. But they act just the same.

Bikers are like the ones I just previously described. They also move in and out of traffic as if they came from the planet Krypton. The only difference is that the drivers without license plates move to the middle of the road, oh, so, slowly, without looking behind them if there's a driver with a bum stomach wanting to get home fast. That way, if you run over them, there'll be no more argument; it will be your fault. On the other hand, they can't argue anymore for they will just be dead.

One poignant scene is a man pedaling very slow while, directly in front of him, seated on the frame, is another man. Makes me want to sing, "Raindrops keep falling on my head...."

Cars whose license numbers are just single digits - Owners of these vehicles don't know how to count, so how can you expect them to compute the damages on your vehicle so they can pay you? Because they can't do that, then any accident involving both of you will not be their fault. And since you're the one who can count, then it is your fault and you'll be the one to compute the damages that you have to pay to them.

That is, if you're still alive to make the computations.

Aside from knowing what license plates to avoid, here are some more things that foreigners must recognize and be wary of:

Armored cars - Try to avoid these vehicles as much as possible, for, if you bump them, they will think that you're one of the robbers trying to stop them. They'll just bring out their shotguns and shoot at you, claiming self-defense. They believe in the saying, "Shoot first, ask questions later".

Delivery vans - These are small enough to avoid the truck ban, but big enough to bully small vehicles. At the back of these vehicles is the question, "How's my driving?". Below that question is the word "Call", followed by numbers that were scratched out.

One when you can't see the driver - This can be divided further into two:

1. When the car is heavily tinted - That means the driver has brought along his M-16 rifle, ready to be used.
2. When you can't see the driver because he is too short - Since you can't see him, he can't also see you.

The driver is smoking - Get away from these drivers, especially if he has his family with him. If he won't be considerate with the people he loves, how much more will he be considerate to strangers?

When the car is full of hits, rear bumper is missing, right front headlight is smashed, left front fender has a big dent, the window at the left passenger side is covered with transparent plastic, driver's door is held up by abaca rope, etc. - Watch how he drives and you'll know why.

Volvo, BMW, Mercedes - These are very expensive cars. One scratch and you'll have to work the rest of your life paying for it.

Cars with religious stickers - Remember Romans 8:31.

Cars with the sticker that says "We Serve and Protect" and underneath says "Police" - This one got me confused. Does it mean that the passengers of that car are serving and protecting the police? Or that the passengers are being served and protected by the police? Or that the passengers are the police who don't have any clue who they are serving and protecting? In any case, the most prudent thing to do is to move far, far away from those cars.

Finally, there is this situation where you're in traffic for a hour, then you'll hear a siren and see a convoy of Nissan Terranos, F-150's, and other SUVs counter-flowing, ignoring traffic lights, and directing other vehicles to make way for the convoy - The vehicles are owned by high government officials, oblivious of the sufferings being experienced by their constituents. I really don't mind them doing that. With those big vehicles using up so much gasoline, it is better of us, taxpayers, that they arrive at their destination ASAP.

That ends my article, and, hopefully, my series of articles on driving in Metro Manila. As I might not write another one about this topic I'm letting the Vatican have the last word by printing their 10 Commandments for Drivers:

1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible toward others.

P.S. I actually want to have the last word, that's why I'm adding this PS.

WORD

Independence Day

This is not a happy post.

Because I am mad.

No, I take that back. If you've read my previous entries, you've already known that I'm mad.

But I'm not that kind of "mad". I'm angry! Yes, that's the word. ANGRY!

Angry that June 11 is a non-working holiday.

Angry even if, on that day, I can drive to MOA my Mitsubishi Lancer with plate number TDX322.

Angry even if I can go to Anilao on Saturday, get back home on Sunday, and still have an extra day to rest before going to work.

And why am I angry? I'll tell you.

Why does the government declare a day as non-working holiday? What's the purpose for daily wage-earners not getting their salary for the day? I thought a non-working holiday is declared to celebrate, or commemorate, a certain event. It is a time to pause and reflect, and give thanks that such an event occurred in our history.

Next week, we will celebrate our most joyous historical event, the Independence Day. But, unfortunately, June 12 falls on a Tuesday. So, our president declares June 11 as a special non-working holiday, while June 12 as a regular working day.

The intention is so we can have a long week-end, and people will be enticed to go to the beaches, to the resorts, or to the malls in order to spend money and spur the economy. Therefore, it seems it is the hard cash that is more important on this day rather than being thankful that we are an independent nation.

And this makes me angry.

What's the fuss, anyway? We do that all the time, celebrating our birthday on the nearest Sunday if it falls on a weekday. And we do that beginning with our first birthday, our second, our third, and so on and so forth, until we take for granted our birthday and don't celebrate it anymore.

When was that, when the president declared May 3, a Friday, as a special non-working holiday, but May 1 was a regular working day? The labor unions complained. For why declare a non-working holiday other than the day when the event should be celebrated? The president retracted her order, and so we have a non-working holiday on Labor Day, regardless on what day of the week it falls.

And this makes me more angry.

It seems nobody cares that the holiday is declared not on the day on which it is supposed to be celebrated. That people are now looking forward to June because of an additional holiday, and not because we will celebrate our Independence Day.

Ok, ok. So, I, too, am guilty. I, too, look forward to this extra non-working day in June. And I never go to Luneta to watch the parade.

Which makes me angry at myself.

But we tried. Ever since the country celebrated its Centennial, my family tried to make it a point to, at least, place a flag in front of our house. Sadly, we're not doing it this year; my daughter's Christmas lantern is still hanging out there.

I also look forward to this day because most FM radio stations play only Filipino songs throughout the day. Even 98.7 DzFE, the Master's Touch, play the Kundimans and classical music composed by Filipinos. However, for the past several years, even this is slowly disappearing, with very few stations playing all OPM even just for an hour.

It is quite ironic, for it was President Diosdado Macapagal, the present president's father, who moved the date for the celebration of Independence Day from July 4 to June 12. Well, I guess it runs in the family. PGMA is, once more, moving the date of our Indepedence Day, just like what her father did.

Or, perhaps, she knows a lot more than I do. With the votes not being counted properly in the last elections, with 30% of the population at the poverty level, with billions of dollars owed by the Philippine Government to different banks, thus each one of us, even the newly-born, already owes thousands of pesos to these banks, with millions of Filipinos working abroad as domestic helpers, nurses, entertainers, blue-collared workers, and the government depending so much on the dollars remitted by them, the president may have a point in regarding lightly our Independence Day. Perhaps, she is right. We may not really be independent after all.

Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Politician?

My friend recently posted on her blog a quiz to find out what your marrying age is. I'm very fond of these quizzes, and with the just-concluded elections, I had the inspiration to make one. This one will find out if you have the potential to be a politician.

For each item, choose what you'd do, score each answer, get the total, and see what the final score means. Don't leave any item unanswered.

I've also placed the moral value each item is asking. You might want to know where you need to work on.

1. [Honesty] You decided to treat your friends and eat at Gerry's Grill. The four of you ordered nine cups of rice, but were able to finish only eight, leaving one untouched. The bill came, and the cashier made the mistake of charging only eight cups. What will you do?

a. Point out the mistake and ask the cashier to correct the bill.

b. Just keep quiet. Leave the restaurant, also leaving the untouched cup of rice. That way, they can still serve it to another customer.

c. Just keep quiet. Ask the waitress to put the untouched rice in a doggy bag for take out.

2. [Compassion] You were along the aisle of ice creams at SM Hypermart. An old lady was buying a half-gallon of vanilla. With it came a free box of wafer cones. However, she could not reach the box, so she asked the saleslady to get one. But the saleslady was also short, and had a hard time getting the box of cones. You will...

a. get the box and give it to the old lady.

b. go to the fruit section.

c. cheer the saleslady on. She is just a few inches away from getting the box.

3. [Education] 1 + 1 =

a. 2

b. fifty pesos

c. +2,000 for you, -2,000 for your opponent

4. [Law-abidingness] Traffic is heavy, but the opposite lane is free. You will...

a. wait it out.

b. counterflow, and get back in your lane if there is an oncoming car.

c. counterflow with headlights blinking and horns blaring, and staring at the driver of the oncoming car.

5. [Respect] You failed to watch the second season opener of "Prison Break" because your daughter was watching "High School Musical" for the nth time. You'll...

a. just let your daughter continue watching the Disney channel, and try to know what happened in "Prison Break" based on the following episode.

b. change the channel and shout at your daughter if she cries and whines.

c. go to Quiapo to buy all episodes of "Prison Break", Seasons 1, 2, and 3.

6. [Industry] Your electric fan broke down. You're going to...

a. fix it yourself.

b. have your wife fix it.

c. have your rich father fix it.

7. [Frugality] Oil is becoming scarce, hence its price is soaring. You're going out to buy bread, and the store is 100 m away. What will you do?

a. Walk to the store and buy the bread.

b. Tell your maid to buy the bread.

c. Take your F-150 to the store. It is a hot day, and the aircon of the vehicle is so refreshing.

8. [Fidelity] Your wife caught you cheating on her. What do you plan to do?

a. Nothing. You will never cheat on your wife.

b. Deny it. But if you can't squirm out of the situation, blame the other woman, saying she seduced you.

c. Be proud of it, and plan to add another. You believe that manliness is measured by the number of mistresses one has.

9. [Leadership] Your friends are making fun of a fat co-employee. You will...

a. defend your co-employee.

b. laugh with them.

c. take the lead in insulting him.

10. [Abhorrence to Gambling] There is a game between Ginebra and San Miguel tonight. You plan to...

a. watch and enjoy the game at home.

b. bet 5-5 for the first quarter, 7-8 for the second, 2-0 for the third, and 6-5 for the final quarter. You expect a close fight.

c. organize the ending game.

Scoring:

Score five points for every item answered with an "a", three points if the answer is "b", and one point for every "c" answer. Add up all your scores.

Meaning:

If your total score is 10 - 20: Better not go into politics, for you don't have a USP (Unique Selling Proposition). There are so many out there like you, and they already have their parents/siblings/aunts and uncles/cousins/children as congressman/governor/mayor/counselor/baranggay captain/tanod.

If you scored 21 - 35: Three years ago I would have recommended that you become a talent of ABS-CBN. With the results of the last election, that doesn't seem to be effective anymore. Instead, I suggest you enter the seminary.

If your total is 36 - 50: You'll make a perfect politician, not because you have the qualities of a true leader this nation badly needs, but because you can promise things that you cannot do.

If you scored more than 50: You're better off being a COMELEC official.

Next time, I'll prepare a quiz to find out if you have what it takes to be a voter.

Bossa Nova

I love Bossa Nova. As early as the 70's I already enjoyed listening to the music of Antonio Carlos Jobim and Sergio Mendez. I liked the style so much that I got a CD of Bossa Nova's finest moment, Getz/Gilberto, which won the Grammy Album of the Year in 1964. Of course, it wasn't in CD form then. I also have a compilation of the hits of Sergio Mendez and the Brazil '66, '77, and '86 (I don't know why he didn't use "'88"). And I'm glad that they are re-issuing their album "Vintage '74", which contained "The Waters of March". But I don't think Tadao Hayashi's version of "Wave" can be considered Bossa Nova.

It seems Bossa Nova is getting its second wind. 105.1 Crossover plays a lot of it, even airing a segment called "Understanding Bossa Nova" by Eileen Sison of Guanara. And there are albums that adapted music for that style, like those by Burt Bacharach and the Carpenters.

Of course, we, Filipinos, would not be left behind. I've seen songs by the Hotdog, Cinderella, and VST & Co. made into Bossa Nova. The last one intrigues me. Does this mean I can now dance the salsa with the song "Rock Baby Rock"?

Filipinos are known to be copycats. We had the Elvis Presley of the Philippines, the Perry Como of the Philippines, and, (so unfair to Gary V,) the Michael Jackson of the Philippines. I still remember the Pinoy Beatles singing "Mahal ka n'ya! N'yah! N'yah!". English songs were translated to Pilipino, giving us such memorable lines from Rico J. ("Namamasyal pa sa Luneta / Ng walang pera.") and Hajji Alejandro ("Panakip-butas na lamang / Ako....!"). VST & Co and the Boyfriends aped the falsetto voice of Barry Gibbs. Hagibis became the country's Village People.

During the 60's, Filipino songs were considered too baduy. They were either the old Kundimans or novelty songs ("Dito sa Pitong Gatang...."). So, we only listen to Engilsh songs, like Nora Aunor's "Blue Hawaii", Victor Wood's "I Went To Your Wedding", and Eddie Peregrina's "I Do Love You".

In the 70's came the Hotdog band, giving birth to the Manila Sound. Now, Pinoys can be proud of their own original music (thus the acronym OPM). We sing along to the song, "Pers Lab" ("Tuwing kita'y nakikita / ako'y natutunaw..."). Meanwhle, APO had "Show Me A Smile" and "Bakit Ang Babae Sa Tagal Ng Pagsasama Tila Mas Mahirap Maintindihan", which I totally agree. There were many very good singers, like Pabs Dadivas, Pol Enriquez, and Tillie Moreno. (The joke then was that Tillie Moreno was wise enough not to marry Rico J. Puno.)

It was also in the 70's when the MetroManila Pop Music Festival started, the first being won by Ryan Cayabyab, with his song "Kay Ganda Ng Ating Musika", interpreted by Hajji.

In that festival we first heard Freddie Aguilar and his song "Anak", which became so popular that we never heard the end of it. It was translated to different languages, even the language of Tito, Vic, and Joey. With the success of Freddie came other folk singers, like Asin, Heber Bartolome, Florante and Coritha. They now call this kind of music "Akustik".

Then there were the "Jukebox" queens, Imelda Papin ("Kung liligaya ka / Sa piling ng iba"), Eva Eugenio ("O tukso, layuan mo ako!"), Didith Reyes ("Bakit ako mahihiya / Kung sa iyo'y liligaya?"), and Claire dela Fuente("Sayang / Ngayon lang tayo nagkatagpo"), whose songs were very popular in beer gardens. I suspect that the men there were drinking to forget their heartaches. But because of the songs, they were reminded of their heartaches, so they drink some more. ("Alam mo, pare, niloko ako ng asawa ko." "Pare, ako rin." "Waiter! Isang round ng beer pa nga d'yan!") That was a good strategy by the owners.

In the 80's, I remember watching "My Sharona" on TV, and, I believe, that is the very first MTV shown. Meanwhile, songs by Gary V. and Martin Nievera were being heard on the radio. And with our right hand raised, tracing circles in the air, our left hand on our ear, we danced to the theme song of "Bagets".

Perhaps, I am really getting old. What started as a rant ended up a walk down memory lane. And I could go on and on.

My tastes may have changed. When, before, I hated the songs by Rey Valera, I now enjoy singing along with Robin Padilla ("Sana'y 'di pa riiiiiin / Nagbabago! / Ahahah, ahahah, ahahah, ahahah, ahahah, la laaaaaaaaaa").

Perhaps, ten years from now, I'll also like Blake Lewis.

Songs In The Key Of Life

NOTE: I entered this article in Philippine Star's and National Bookstore's My Favorite Book contest. I submitted it on Oct 2003, and was surprised to see it printed in the newspaper on Dec 28, 2003, as the second to the last entry for the year. (HAH! I'm now a published writer.) The date was significant because it was the feast of the Niños Inocentes, the Philippine version of April Fools. Since I had already spent the prize money, I don't think they were kidding when they had printed my entry. On second thought, I guess they ran out of entries to publish, forcing them to print my article.

The review was published when the campaign for the Presidential election between incumbent Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and Fernando Poe, Jr. was heating up. It was also the time of the exposè of Sen. Ping Lacson against Jose Pidal, believed to be really Mike Arroyo, the president's husband. Meanwhile, Jose de Venecia, Speaker of the House of Representative, refused to start impeachment proceedings against GMA because of the Pidal issue.

On the "cultural" side, the popular TV show was Meteor Garden, starred by the Chinese group, F4. And the popular song in videoke bars was, and still is, My Way.

As of this writing, Maestro Valdez has published several additional volumes of arrangements for the classical guitar. There are two more of the familiar tunes, one on Christmas carols, three on piano masterpieces transcribed for the guitar, and two containing arrangements of inspirational songs. They are all available at any branch of National Bookstore.

Title: Arrangements of Familiar Tunes for the Classical Guitar, Volume 1
Arranger: Maestro Jose Valdez
Publisher: Faithful Servant Marketing

Who would want to read a review of a songbook? Normally, you would browse its contents, such as that of a Jingle magazine, and return it to the shelf if it did not contain Meteor Rain, even if it included the theme songs from all of FPJ’s movies. Furthermore, this songbook does not even have stories that will make you stay up all night, like those of Robert Ludlum or Stephen King, or stories about the country’s mounting debt. As for me, it is enough that people become aware of this remarkable book.

My friend once said that guitar players have lots of women (in Tagalog, ma-chicks), that women go after them (again, in Tagalog, habulin ng mga chicks). After 25 years of playing the instrument, I realized I was not good at it.

I am what you might call tone-deaf. In fact, if you used my guitar, you would say it is tuned differently. It is like having “two left ears”. Once, in college, I auditioned in our organization’s choir to go on caroling. I sang Adeste Fidelis, but our conductor did not recognize my song. I almost shouted at him, “It was O Come All Ye Faithful, only in Latin!” Since I was then the president of the org he didn’t have any choice but to include me.

There was also a time when I felt bored opening a songbook, plucking the chords, and singing in my mind. That was when I decided to let my guitar “sing” for me. Classical guitar was the most logical option.

Being lazy, I did not enroll in a class, lest I have to practice everyday. Luckily, I found a book, The Complete Guitar Player Classical Book, which taught me how to read notes and play classical guitar. Thus, I was self-taught, which explains why after ten years of studying I am still a beginner. After finishing the book and going through the very short exercises, I was ready to move on and play complete songs. However, there were no music sheets for the classical guitar. All I’ve seen are for the piano. How many times have I opened a Hanon, hoping that it was transcribed for the guitar? When will Digna Agra Roxas and Priscilla Halili Enriquez arrange songs for the instrument? It was so frustrating, like trying to find a worthy person to vote for in next year’s presidential election.

When I am in the States (no, I am not in the government, just an airline employee) I would go to the music stores and look for scores for the classical guitar. Yes, I would find some, but they are all, literally, Classical pieces. Authors include Fernando Sor, Mauro Giuliani, and Ferdinando Carulli. True, there were some for beginners, but how could I play them in our department’s Christmas program?

With so many controversial “Jose’s”, this particular Jose is heaven sent, just like Sen. Ping Lacson finding a witness to the Pidal account, and his name is not Mahusay. Maestro Valdez’s arrangements to popular songs, from the very simplified to the more challenging, helped me to enjoy playing the standards, classical-style. I would play during lunch breaks, not because everybody else is in the canteen and no one will hear me, but it is my way to relax after a stressful morning. Imagine, upon arrival in the office, I’d retrieve my voice mail, and will tell me I have fifteen new voice messages. Or retrieve my email and get thirty new ones, more than half offer how to get credit cards, how to get thin, or even how to find a date within the area, and these offers are good only in the US. Every song that I play puts a big smile on my face. I get a high each time I finish a piece. But, most of all, I help my officemates get their noontime nap.

The first piece in the book is Can’t Help Falling In Love. So, if your crush is an F4 fan, here is a song you can play to her (or him). This is followed by Here, There, and Everywhere, Killing Me Softly, Moon River, and Smoke Gets In Your Eyes. The last one I played in our Christmas program, dedicating the song to those who would barbecue during the holidays. I would have played Moon River, but I feared someone might get up to the stage, take the microphone and sing. He would then request My Way, which I didn’t know.

The book then continued with Unchained Melody, and As Time Goes By. Maestro Valdez arranged these first seven pieces for beginners. They are so simple I can play them. There are tablature diagrams to help those who do not read notes. Only beginners read these, and since I’m more advanced, I don’t need the diagrams; I’d rather read the notes. (To be honest, I follow the tablature, not the notes. But, then, who’ll notice?)

The next four songs are still simplified arrangements, but more challenging for beginners. These are Song For Ana, Somewhere In Time, A Time For Us, and Manha De Carnaval. These are followed by four arrangements that will keep me busy learning them for a year. Well, a year might be too long. Perhaps, less than that…like, eleven and a half months. The four are Aubrey, What Matters Most, Michelle, and Misty. Although these are very challenging pieces, learning and playing them would be a great accomplishment for me. And with those romantic songs, who knows, someday, I may be asked by someone to serenade his sweetheart. That would be extra income.

As you would see, the choice of the songs was very well thought of. If I played them to my wife, she would fall in love with me again, erasing all the blunders I made, like the time I forgot her birthday, which happens to fall on the same day as our wedding anniversary. I also hoped that playing them to my children would make them appreciate the type of music I listen to. I wished my first child to be a concert pianist and the second a ballerina. Last night, my younger daughter told me she wanted to be a rock star.

The arrangements, although simplified, are very satisfying to play and listen to. As written in the introduction by Mr. Vincent Abellar, “[i]n spite of the simplification, however, the pieces sound complete and are rich in harmony.”

I am inviting all of you to buy this book, not only because it is patriotic, but also it would encourage the publisher to issue similar books. In fact, there are already two other songbooks published, with arrangements made by Maestro Valdez: Volume 2 of this book, and The Philippine Guitar, another wonderful tome, worth every centavo, which I’d make a review if this one doesn’t get printed. There are future publications: Favorite Christmas Carols for Classical Guitar, which, I hope, would come out this December; Inspirational/Religious Songs for Classical Guitar, which, I hope, would come out this Friday; and Favorite Piano Solos for Classical Guitar, which, I hope, would come out. There are other books with arrangements for the classical guitar, wherein Maestro Valdez is not the arranger. I invite you to buy them as well.

With a vast array of pieces to learn from, we, beginners, could have an expanded repertoire, enabling us to achieve the level we aspire for…intermediate.

And that is no joke.

Driving In Metro Manila, Part 2

A tourist arrived in the Philippines and took a taxi to his hotel. At one intersection, the taxi driver beat the red light. The tourist was quite surprised, and asked the driver, "Isn't that dangerous?" "Ah, no, " replied the driver. "My cousin does that all the time, and he hasn't been in any accident." So, the tourist accepted the explanation, keeping quiet, but concerned as the driver beats the red light every time. Then, they came up an intersection with their light green. The driver made a screeching stop.

"Why did you stop?" asked the tourist. "The light is green!"

The driver, looking at his left and at his right, answered, "My cousin might be passing by."

I feel safer driving on the roads of Metro Manila than of Los Angeles or Fort Worth. For one, it is assumed that all drivers in the Philippines are crazy. Because of that, one would drive defensively, always on his guard. Unlike that in the US, because everyone takes for granted that others follow the traffic rules, they become complacent. Just one mistake, one miscalculation, and an accident happens. For another, traffic in Metro Manila is so slow that you can easily react when another driver fails to think.

Filipino drivers are also very skilled. Where else can you find a gridlock untangled in less than five minutes. Inch by brave inch, looking to the left, then to the right, avoiding each others' eyes (for the one who does so will have to give way), slowly, the intersection becomes free-flowing once more.

One cause of slow traffic is when an accident occurs. Cars in the lane where it happened would try to get into the other lanes. But drivers in these lanes would not give in. Don't they know how to move in alternately? What's more, those passing by the accident would slow down to take a look, trying to analyze whose fault it was. We call them "usi's", for "usisera" and "usisero". What for? Will they change the situation? They would only slow down the flow of traffic. Why don't they just drive on...? But in my point of view, I think the red Honda was at fault.

Of course, one cannot depend on other drivers driving carefully. I've read in Wikipedia: "Mutual cooperation among drivers would give the maximum benefit (prevention of gridlock), but this may not happen because of the desire to maximize one's own benefit (shortest travel time) given the uncertainty about the other drivers' commitment to cooperation." What a relief! And I thought it was "only in the Philippines".

I once asked a batchmate who lives in the US how come they express distance between two points by saying how long it takes to drive from one to another. Like, the distance from his house to the grocery store is a ten-minute drive. He answered that it is estimated that one drives at an average of one mile per minute, which makes the store ten miles away from his home.

We also do that in the Philippines. Driving from our office to Makati is a thirty-minute drive. That means Makati is five kilometers away, or about three miles. Of course, you have to double the time during rush hour.

But one has to be very careful driving in Metro Manila. Even with the road clear, one should expect a car, a child, or a dog to suddenly appear and cross your path. If it's a cat, you just run over it.

When I was just still learning to drive, my high school friend told me to drive up to a speed that I can comfortably make a sudden stop. After ten years of driving, I have increased this "comfort speed" from 30 kph to 40 kph.

They say that wearing seatbelts can give a driver 80% chance of surviving a serious accident. With the slow traffic in Metro Manila, it seems such a precaution is not needed. But, perhaps, cool heads and respect for each other is a better safety precaution than seatbelts.

Driving In Metro Manila, Part 1

Statistics show that cardiac arrest is one of the leading causes of death in the Philippines. However, statistics failed to show that the leading cause of cardiac arrest is stress, and the leading cause of stress is driving in Metro Manila. Hence, by transitivity, the leading cause of death in the Philippines is driving in Metro Manila.

Of course, there's a flaw in the logic. There are other leading causes of death, like singing "My Way", or other causes of stress, like listening to someone sing "My Way". However, in my experience, I believe my logic is correct.

I am often angry getting home. That seven-kilometer drive is hell for me. It seems people just want to get home so fast they they fail to realize driving so recklessly will take them home longer. And the seconds they save weaving in and out of traffic will turn into hours of waiting once they have an accident. Buti kung sila lang ang mapeperwisyo; damay pati iba.

Only in the Philippines will you see a three-lane road turn into seven lanes. To think there are now more SUVs on the road than Beetles. These big cars will just cut into my lane, not fearing that their F-1 Ford will wreck my 1990 Toyota Corolla. Palibhasa comprehensive sila, samantalang TPL lang ako. 'Di ba nila naisip puwede silang matetano sa sasakyan ko? And the price of my car will not even pay for the damage in case I scratch them.

It is the rich, the government officials, and the expats that drive so wildly. Is this some kind of a symptom, that because of their status they believe they own the country? And that "owning the roads" is just a manifestation of this belief?

Then, there are women drivers. No, I won't generalize that all women drive badly. There are just a few women drivers, so that, percent-wise, we seem to think that all should not be given the license to drive. Compare that to jeepney or bus drivers. Because these PI, I mean, PU drivers are so many we don't believe that all jeepney and bus drivers are bad ones. Almost all, but not all.

But, percent-wise, I think the one with the highest percentage of bad drivers compared to the total are those driving government-accredited tow trucks. They are always on the look-out for stalled and illegally parked cars, and fail to see the traffic signs. Perhaps, just like IBM salespeople, AMWAY distributors, or MMDA traffic aides, they, too, have their quotas to fulfill.

I am trying to be proactive with the situation. Listening to Francis Kong on 98.7 DZFE, The Master's Touch, is always enlightening. Popping audiobooks by John Maxwell in my casette player is not only entertaining but educational, as well. Giving way to those cutting my lane makes me more relaxed. However, when doing so, I cannot hear my radio because of the horns blaring from the car behind me. Malas niya, ako ang nasa harapan niya. I also plan to stock up a lot of books by Alex Lacson, "12 Little Things Every Filipino Can Do To Help Our Country", and distribute them along the road.

Driving in Metro Manila need not be stressful. However slow the flow of traffic is, one can get home in one piece, if not in one sane mind, if we just all follow the traffic rules. And if everybody does so, traffic will not really be slow after all.

Getting Old

Lately, I have been reading about brain power, how we can manifest the things we want, and, unconsciously, the things we don't want, with the use of our mind. For instance, our body reacts to what the mind dwells on. If we dwell on good health, that is what we'll mostly have. But if we dwell on being sick, although the cause may not be organic in nature, we'll often feel indisposed.

I rarely had any major colds last year. Once I feel that a cold is coming, I will immediately go into my meditative stance, and imagine all those anti-bodies attacking the viruses. And if that doesn't do the trick, I just take my ever-reliable Pey Pa Kua. I believe this is why I did not have the sniffles.

The other night, I helped my daughter on her homework. She was working on "the nose", its structure, functions, and ailments. I got our thick American Health Handbook, looked at the index, and turned to the page where all of the answers can be found. The book said that the common problem of the nose is the common cold (thus, the word "cold" Ű). I read that children are very susceptible to colds, but as one gets older, one gets it less often.

Diyosmiyo! So, that's the reason why I'm not getting the colds. It's not because I had the power to visualize, but it's because I am getting old. And I thought my hair is turning white because it's in our genes.

An email once circulated the Internet describing the different circumstances a man goes through his life. It said that as a young man, he had the time and the energy, but not the money. Once he is working, he has the money and the energy, but not the time. When he retires, he has the money and the time, but not the energy.

Now, I understand what mid-life crisis means: I don't have the time, the money, and the energy....AND I'M PANICKING!

I'm shocked when I learn that most of my co-employees were born when I was applying for a job. And I get depressed when I realize that the Math problem (In how many years will Danny be twice as old as Rose?) is actually happening to me.

Several years ago, I took a job of teaching grade school students. I almost accused one student of lying because he wrote '1990' as the year of his birth. I thought then that people born in the 90's were still drinking milk from the bottle. I couldn't imagine advising them about their problems on love. I met him recently, and he's now in second year college, taking up Computer Science. In a couple of years, we could become co-workers.

Of course, there are benefits of getting old. I'm easily forgiven if I tend to forget some things, like the name of a friend, my car keys, or wearing pants going to the office. I get to enter the elevator first. Co-workers respect me, not because of my position or my abilities, but because of the color of my hair. In fact, it becomes a conversation piece (Colleague: "Your have a lot of white hair." Me: "That's a sign of wisdom." Colleague: "I hope so.")

Then, there are the disadvantages. I hate it when some new employee hold me when we're crossing the street or kiss my hand during Christmas parties. And I'm not called Iho anymore, but Tito. I dread the day when they'll call me Lolo. That'll be the sign that I'm about to retire.

The other day, my daughter was watching the cartoon series "Totally Spies". I overheard one character say, "It's not how old you are, it's how you are when you're old." Sometimes, cartoons can be so educational.

There is a saying "Beautiful young people are acts of nature; beautiful old people are works of art." Nature was not good to me, but, at least, I can still be an art work. And with the life-expectancy of males pegged at 72 years, with the help of God, I still have almost thirty years to mold this person into one of His masterpieces.

My Christmas 2006

The two worst places to be in last Christmas season were SM (collectively taken as one) and EDSA. A far third is the opening day of Enteng Kabisote 3. At least, may choice kang manood muna ng Tatlong Baraha.

Bakit naman kasi lahat ng kumpanya sabay-sabay mag-celebrate ng kanilang Christmas Party. So, you'd bring your family to the party, kasi libre pagkain. At saka sabi ni Boss, eh. Then, sabay-sabay ding matatapos ang mga party kaya ang hirap kumuha ng taxi. Siksikan na sa daan, 'di lamang sa dami ng sasakyan, kun'di dahil na rin sa dami ng tao.

And one has to go to SM and buy gifts. Kasi, lahat ng kumare at kumpare mo sa office dala-dala rin ang pamilya nila sa party. Wala ka tuloy lusot sa mga inaanak mo.

The Philippines is said to celebrate the longest Christmas season in the world. Officially, it starts on Advent (sabi ng pari, it should start on December 25) and ends on the Feast of the Epiphany (or, sa tulad naming matatanda, the Feast of the Three Kings). Unofficially, it starts on the first 'ber' month (when you'd already hear Michael Jackson singing "Give Love On Christmas Day") and ends on Valentine's Day (the next gift-giving, money-spending season). However, even on December 25, people don't celebrate Christmas at EDSA. 'Kala ko nga, Christmas means giving. But you'll never see that at EDSA. And the bigger the vehicle, the more "un-giving" is the driver.

EDSA has become a virtually parking lot last month. Buti na lang at malamig ang panahon. I would always look at the temperature gauge of my car, praying that the needle will not hover the red area. As for the gasoline, lagi naman nasa E 'yung needle. I'm just hoping my car will not suddenly stop. At least, alam ko kung ano ang dahilan, kung nagkataon.

But I still have to be thankful for. I have my 1990 Toyota Corolla, listening to 98.7 DZFE, The Master's Touch, and my Wheeler's Club card. Kahit ano'ng mangyari, makakauwi rin ako.

One time, I passed by Five Star, the bus liner, not the firecracker. I saw a family of five at the sidewalk. The father was carrying two heavy luggages, the mother was carrying a baby on her right arm, while holding a boy of three with her left hand, and a girl of five was in between the adults, holding a Barbie-like doll, bought at Divisoria. Malayo ang mga tingin, hoping to see an empty taxi that will bring them home. Swerte na lang nila kung makakita sila ng bakante. At kung ang driver ay hindi pa mamimili o magtuturing, well, they would have experienced a true Christmas miracle.

It has always been like this, every Christmas. No, I'm wrong. I think the situation is getting worse. Every year we always say that we should lessen the "Ho! Ho! Ho's!" and add more "Hossanas". Unfortunately, the world is getting more materialistic. And we get caught in this giving so that we can receive. Thus, I would never give in to the driver entering my lane because he will not give in if I were to enter his lane. Unahan lang 'yan! Buti na lang siningil ako ng City of Las Pinas sa amelyar ko, which I have not paid in the last five years. At least, may dahilan akong hindi mamigay noong Pasko.

I do hope you all had, and are having, a meaningful Christmas. The season need not be celebrated once a year, then feel melancholic after, lalo na sa mga 'di na bata, na naubos ang sweldo at bonus sa kakapamili. If we will just remember the reason for the season, and live it, then everyday will be Christmas. Even at EDSA.