Renewable Marriage

NOTE: Ito ang aking Speech Number 6, na ang pamagat ng project ay Vocal Variety. Ibig sabihin, sa pagbigay ng speech na ito, kailangang bagu-baguhin ko ang tono, lakas, at bilis ng aking boses. Kaya, tulad ng dati, mas magandang napakinggan n'yo ito kesa nabasa.

Women's group wants expiry date on marriage - The Philippine Star

Several weeks ago, I read in the newspaper about a party-list group, 1-ABAA, or Isa Ako Babaeng Astig Aasenso, advocating the expiration of the marriage license in the Philippines. Being a secret member of BAGSIK, (loud) Bagong Alyansa ng mga Ginoong (pause...dejected) Sinisigawan at Inaapi ng mga Kababaihan, I got interested in what the group wants to say.

(whisper) Just don't tell my wife I read the article.

I guess a lot of you here also saw the news. Has anyone read about it? C'mon, don't be shy. Admit that you did, especially husbands whose wives are present. You have nothing to lose but your beds.

Anyway, for those who don't know the issue, 1-ABAA proposed that the marriage license will have a ten-year validity period. A couple of days later, they realized that made a mistake. Marriage licenses in the Philippines have only a 120-day validity. Thus, couples must get married and exchange the license to a contract within 120 days. Else, they will need get another license and undergo, once more, the family planning seminar at City Hall. To correct their earlier pronouncement, 1-ABAA said that it is the marriage, itself, that should have an expiry date.

The party-group made this proposal to “save incompatible couples the trouble of going through a tedious and expensive annulment process” and will “also help cut down the number of annulment cases that have piled up in court”.

I am not here to question the morality or psychological impact once the proposal becomes into a law. I am not like David, who has been a preacher for 23 years. I am just a plain husband, and not even a perfect one. However, being trained as an engineer most of my life, I would like to look at the logic of the proposal, and the first thing that comes into my mind is “Don't be a fool; use the right tool”.

If the problem is the “trouble of going through the process”, then let them be. These are adults who were very aware of the decision they made to get married, and know that annulment will be difficult.

If the problem is expense, provide financial assistance, much like what those human rights lawyers do.

If the problem is the piling up of cases in court, let the Judiciary find ways to expedite hearing and resolving the cases.

I just wonder why problems of specific individuals will have a generic solution.

Another engineering concept comes to my mind: Don't use a (big voice) HUGE hammer to drive a (small voice) tiny nail.

Although marital problems may not really be small nails, I believe that automatic marriage annulments are big hammers that will destroy the home.

I also don't understand why married couples would want to get separated. Isn't it that we, Filipinos, hold marriage sacred, and, hence, we are repeatedly asked before getting married if we are really sure we want to undergo the process? That is why we have a saying, “Ang kasal ay 'di tulad ng kaning isusubo, na iluluwa 'pag napaso.”

Also, during the marriage ceremonies, and they said, “Till death do us part,” I'm sure that almost all of them really meant “physical death”, and not some obscure and vague concept like...ummmm...let me see...ahhh....Yes! Like “love”.

How about the time when the boy was just courting the girl? Or the other way around? Didn't they say that they'll be happy once they “get” their loved ones?

Perhaps, that's where the problem lies: They only thought about the “getting”, and forgot about the “giving”.

Honestly, as I thought more about the proposal, the more I realize that 1-ABAA may have a point. However, I think that ten years is too long. Rather, I believe that the marriage license, contract, vow, or even that obscure and vague concept, love, should be renewed everyday, every hour, every minute, every moment of our lives.

If we will wait for ten years, we might not have anything to renew.